Friday, February 25, 2011

Of course I'm afraid!

So, I posted the exciting news about Cambodia on my facebook page and so many people flooded my inbox with emails. Most were encouraging and all were wonderful. Thank you for your responses! Some of the real comments I got were things like "you sound so happy about all this" or "your excitement is contagious" or "you make it sound so easy" but I did get a few other types of comments too. Several friends asked if I realized how different and hard it would be or why I didn't sound afraid. I guess I have to address that now....

YES! I am afraid. I'm terrified in a way! But I am confident in God's power and that He has put that power in me. This will be a dark place for sure. Any place missing Christ is dark and dangerous. It will be dirty, it will be incredibly sad, it will not always be safe, and it'll never be glamorous. I know these things. I do. But I also know that I'm going to be a part of that light. And one light in a sea of darkness changes everything. Please pray for me and my family as we try so hard to be that light. Pray that we will continue when we fail, because we will fail at times. We are sinners. But we will keep trying. We will ask God for a renewed strength and Spirit every morning. And He will provide. I know it.

So I choose to focus on that. Why worry about all the bad stuff when there is so much excitement to think about? When my husband deployed to Afghanistan I was left with a choice - to let this separation keep us apart or to let it draw us closer to God - allowing Him to fill in the holes we were left with in our hearts. I chose Him. And my marriage got better because of it. I know today is no different. Choosing to follow Him will not always be easy. It may never be easy for us, but it is always better.

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:31-32

God will take care of us. I know it with all my heart. The heart He created in the ME He created. So, I choose to view this as an adventure. An exciting, awesome, purposeful, meaningful adventure. An adventure that will hopefully further His kingdom!

We'd love to know you are praying for us, though! We'll always need that for sure.

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