My heart is full

As the date that marks 3 years since I returned from Cambodia approaches, I find my heart full to the point of overflowing. My heart is heavy for those in the world who are hurting and joyful for those who've found restoration from dark, horrible places.

What a week I had.

First, I hosted my friend who is the director at Hard Places, Cambodia, where the boys and I would visit each week to play with kids. I can't talk about this without crying and I have to leave in a minute to go to get my kids at school, so I'll save that for later. 

Then it was my birthday, and my boys, who are growing older and wiser and more beautiful every moment, showed much kindness and compassion to me as I had a bit of a rough day. My friends showed up at my door with gifts, one after the other, so I felt a little love throughout my whole day. As I often struggle with the question of why God has me in North Carolina when I say I'm willing to go anywhere, moments like that show me a glimpse of the Father's love for me and remind me of His purpose for me.

Oh. And then we visited the IJM Global Prayer Gathering in Washington, D.C. where we heard stories of injustice all over the world but also stories of rescue, restoration, and redemption. It was such a moving weekend for my little heart that I can't even write about it yet. I wouldn't know where to start, so I'll save that for later, too.

What's on my mind right now, and pretty much every moment of my life lately, is that I want to do more.

I want to use my time more wisely. I want to spend my money more wisely. I want to change the way my kids see the world. I want to celebrate victories against sin and weep with victims. I want to pray fervently and passionately to my God, who I know hears my every word.
I want my eyes to transform into the eyes of Jesus and see others as He sees them.

I want to do more.

And I want others to do more, too.

So, I figure I'll just open up my broken, confused, but joyful heart and share what I learn as I pray Jesus shows me ways to help. Maybe someone will join me. That means I need to get more words on here instead of keeping them all in my brain.

I am working through Bible studies on missions and working with my church to give more to missions, both here in my backyard and around the world. As I learn from this, I feel the Lord telling me to share. To share my weakness, to share my strength, to share my heart.

So here I go.  It's how I'll do more. 

I hope you'll join me.