Do they even know?

As I sit here planning all the details for the 2018 mission team to Cambodia, I can't help but wonder if they even have any idea how much work goes into this. I think about the flights and hotels and plans. I think about how to best to serve the children. I think about the packing.

I also think about the future.

Do they have any idea how much this trip is going to change their lives?

I don't think so. I think they know it'll be big. Huge, even. I think they know that it'll be fun and hard and beautiful all at once. I think they know that lives will change.

But I don't think they can even begin to imagine how much things will change.

Cambodia rocked my world. I'd go back and live there forever if the opportunity came up. No doubt. But it didn't end there.

God worked on me every day there. He taught me to see others through His eyes. He taught me love. He taught me sacrifice. He taught me courage and strength.

And my faith grew. I learned to lean on Him in all things. I learned that the people I began to love and care for who were part of a new world and culture to me were created by Him just like I was. They were his children and He loved them more deeply than I ever could.

It helped me love Cambodians more. It helped me love my family more. It helped me see others as His children, deeply loved and cherished. I learned to look for ways I could let that love of Jesus flow out of me and into the world.

I am so excited to see what God does for this mission team. He's already working in ways they never imagined. He's knitting every detail of this trip together to meet the needs we may not even know of yet. He's making marriages stronger and relationships better.

God's using this adventure to change the world one willing person at a time.

I. Can't. Wait.

Change of Address

I shot some cute photos of my little monsters and they were all Fall/Thanksgiving looking, so I thought I'd get out my cards early this year and make them Thanksgiving AND Christmas cards!  I just took the fall photos and added some Christmas lights borders around them. I mean, we moved this summer, so we have a new address, so sending them out early seemed like a great idea.

But of course they arrived the day AFTER Thanksgiving, which was totally MY fault for ordering them late, but alas, now I have a card with a Thanksgiving theme that will go out in December. Oops.

Anyway, as I was sitting and addressing them I was making sure to take note of the "updated on" column of my address book in excel. After all, we have lots of military friends who live all over the place and those little labels change often.

But then I started thinking about the ones that haven't changed. I smiled and thought about the many friends who have been able to use the same address for many years. The homes that are so comfortable and familiar that every nook and cranny could hold memories. I love that!

Honestly, his most recent move has been tough. For a few years in a row, we moved every 1-2 years, and we lived in 6 places by the time our oldest son was 7. Those years it was just natural and easy to pick up and start over again. Well, it wasn't ever EASY, but it wasn't quite so hard.

But then we got "stuck" in a place for over 3 years. It became home to us. We loved it there and we had a million friends and the best neighbors in the world and a church that felt like a home. Getting to share our Cambodia experience with that church is one of my greatest joys.

And... then we were off again. The kids are older now and the roots in our last place were deeper than before, so moving across the country this time was tough. As Mom, I had to make sure the kids were settled and happy and make sure the house was unpacked and comfortable. I had to take care of all the details before I could start to plant new roots. And now as I try to do that I'm finding it much harder than ever before.

Here we are at Thanksgiving and I'm writing "notice address change" on envelopes I'm getting ready to mail while still thinking that next year I'll be moving again and doing this yet again.

It's in the midst of all this - the address change, the long list of friends whose address hasn't changed in years, the season of giving thanks - that I stop and reflect on relationships.

Sometimes we can be surrounded by people and yet still a little lonely. Sometimes we can be far away from a dear friend and yet feel so close by a simple conversation or by sending a letter.

I think I'll take a moment to give someone a call (or a hug!) today and every chance I get. Who knows how many people around me are in need of that this holiday season?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Keep Spreading The Love

I promised I'd explain how great our plan worked so here goes:

We did it. We did what seemed impossible but wasn't because God was with us the whole way.

In February of 2016 we took a team of 11 people to work at The Hard Places Community's (HPC) Boys Center. This was the place I had served at with my little boys when it first opened its doors. On any given week we'd have 2 classes of 8-12 boys there back in 2011. Now they had hundreds of children. It was too incredible for me to try to explain!

Our team raised nearly $25,000 to get to Cambodia and back for a 2 week trip. All sorts of fundraisers helped us reach the goal. We sold drinks at soccer games, passed out empty jars for kids to fill with coins, cooked meals before church services to sell, sent letters to our friends and families, and more. Even the cute little cub scouts offered to help us out and those kids raised $500 for us!  Little by little, the money came in, but still, it seemed like an unreachable goal.

But we got there! And then it just kept coming in!

See, our team didn't commit to raise just enough to go. Our team committed to love on HPC for much longer than that two week trip. We committed to raise $25k as a team in 2016 and then to keep working to raise money through 2017 to send directly to HPC! 

And we did it!

When we were in Cambodia we took our money and purchased souvenirs at the markets to bring home and sell to Americans at a larger price. Then we took 100% of the funds raised and gave it back to Cambodia.

But that wasn't the part that brought in the most money.

Telling our stories inspired others more. We held a couple of events where our team was able to share what we'd seen and heard and experienced there and people were inspired to give! One of our team members, Amber, took beautiful photos that really made the children come alive as we shared about them. Through these events, it took us only a few months to raise $25,000 more to give to Hard Places.

And they have used it wisely and are reaching so many!

They've been able to hire numerous new staff members and interns to help their ministry grow!

HPC now has a girls' center that runs like the boys' center.

They also teach English and computer classes to young adults to help them find new careers.

HPC started a ministry to men working in massage parlors to help them learn skills for a more respectable career. These men are able to be English tour guides, work in beauty salons, drive tuk tuks, and more. They are opening a restaurant now where they can work as cooks or servers and earn a respectable income doing a job they can be proud of.

HPC has clubs in Siam Reap now where they reach over 300 children a week. Add this to the 500+ they now reach in Phnom Penh and its clear that the next generation of Cambodia is truly being changed!

The ministry of HPC is reaching to smaller tourist towns in Cambodia and also starting to use their model in other countries!

God is there!! The gospel is spreading throughout a kingdom that is in great need of Jesus. Children who have been trafficked are finding freedom and restoration. Families are learning how to help their children and protect them from being victimized. Young people who have been part of HPC since the beginning are so dramatically changed that they are now giving back to help their younger siblings and friends find hope as well.

God is big. Our small donations are stretched in a mighty way to provide resources for HPC.

So why wouldn't we keep spreading the love?

We are so blessed here in America and yes, there are many in need right here around us. Our family is at a place in our faith where we are able to say YES to God anytime. We are willing to go anywhere He sends us!  But for now, He is telling us to be here and mobilize others to go, to serve, to help, to give.

So we do. We tell our story and trust God to use it to His glory.

Next February, in 2018, we're taking another team to Cambodia. And after we return, we'll be raising money to give to Hard Places again!  (Want to help us get there??   Give here by designating your amount to the mission team in general at top or even to a specific member)

I can't believe God's blessed me so much to let me return to see these children again and again.

I hope you'll take this journey with me!

The Plan That Worked

Cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze... Here I am dusting off the keyboard to open up this site again and say hello.

You guys, I could make excuses, but seriously, its just life. I found it funny that my last post (2 1/2 years ago... told you, DUSTY keyboard!) was about slowing down.

I did. I tried. I mean, I still am trying. But with 3 kids and my silly hand that keeps raising itself when it hears things like, "Who can help with ________?" I just can't seem to find a free moment anywhere.

Who's with me? Anyone? We moved to Kansas this summer and I got about 95% unpacked, which in itself was astounding, but the rest has just been sitting in my hallway. For months. Honestly, I don't think it'll ever get unpacked at this point. I don't even care. I think if a thief came in the middle of the night and stole those 3 boxes that are still sitting there, I'd hug them and send them away with some cookies or something. I just can't do it.

But I have good reasons! Besides laundry and dishes and all the household chaos, I've been working on something super exciting.

It is, of course, about Cambodia!

That's what started this whole journaling adventure, right? Our family's adventure following God around the world! Well, it has continued in unexpected and amazing ways since I last recorded it here.

In 2016 Stephen and I were able to take 11 people back to Cambodia to meet the staff and kids at Hard Places and work with them there. Lives were changed!  Why didn't we do this sooner?

See, I tell everyone who will listen about these kids. I tell my story and share my heart with people and walk away knowing God will use that to inspire change for them too. They might be inspired or moved by the story but sometimes it takes actually seeing it with their own eyes to really understand. I wanted to take people with me to Cambodia to meet these people I love.

But....

It's expensive to go to Cambodia!  Once in the country, things are quite inexpensive, but that silly plane ticket is a small fortune!  I knew that spending $1500 a person (or more) just to get them to Cambodia wasn't the best use of money. The best way to help would be to just send HPC a check! (Or, technically, cash, because they don't really do "checks" there...) But how do we get people pumped up about sending that much money if they haven't grasped the vision for what God can do with that money?

Alli, my friend who started and runs HPC, came to visit me in North Carolina in 2015 and talked to my church about what Hard Places does. The next morning two of my friends took her to breakfast and the next thing I knew, they were telling me they wanted us to take a mission trip to Cambodia. They had come up with a plan that I jumped on board with immediately and helped to make it happen.

Here was the incredible plan:
Let's raise money to send a team to Cambodia!
THEN... when they get back from their trip, let's have them KEEP raising money and the following year, let's just GIVE THAT MONEY STRAIGHT TO HARD PLACES!

It worked, you guys. It worked so so so well.

I wish I'd journaled about that whole experience. I was kind of busy planning a short term trip to Cambodia for a dozen people and buying plane tickets and managing a range of personalities and telling stories of what to expect and helping people pack and well, too much to remember, so I didn't write about it all. Or, actually, about any of it.

But the plan worked.

And it worked so well that we are doing it again.

I can't wait to tell you more about that.

But for now I have to say goodbye. Life is calling.
I promise I'll be back soon with more details.

Slow down

As I sit here rocking my baby at 6am because he won't go to sleep but doesn't want to get up, I'm reminded that sometimes the Lord gives us these moments as a reminder to slow down. It's Saturday morning. I don't have to be anywhere until 1pm. I had ideas of what I could do today before 1pm but none of them were urgent or, in fact, even important or necessary at all. They were "fun" things I'd concocted to make my kids happy.

I think I spend so much time trying to have fun with my kids and go take them places that I forget to stop and realize that watching cartoons on tv, snuggling with mom, and laughing about Mickey Mouse's laziness (because, as my older son pointed out, Mickey relies way too much on his "handy helpers" and would be better off just doing things himself) might be just what we all need.

The pace is so fast here.  "Here" as in consumer-driven, child-centered U.S. of A.  I'm guilty too. My kids have school, swimming, baseball, music lessons, play dates, drama club, and more things that I'm too tired to think of right now. It's so easy to get caught up in everything that everyone else is doing!

But with summer fast approaching, I'm going to do something different. I'm going to NOT sign up for summer camps and summer swim teams and summer activities. And if my family gets a vacation, it'll be to relax, not to go, go, go. You here that, sweetheart? I know, I'm the one always pushing us to go, go, go, but here's my admission of wrong. I'm going to regret putting that in writing...

A couple days ago I rushed off to grab dinner before baseball practice. We pulled into the drive-thru, ordered, got the window, and I realized I didn't have my wallet. [Where are those pay-it-forward drive thru cars when you need someone to surprise you with free food??]  I had to leave without dinner and take my kids to a practice where they'd be running and playing for an hour and a half without food! Luckily, I scrounged up $1.07 in change from the mini van carpet and, even more luckily, McDonald's had their double cheeseburgers on sale for $1. I had enough to feed the one kid who had to practice and Stephen grabbed the rest of us food, you know, since he had actual money, and brought it to practice a few minutes after we arrived.

And then... right after we got to practice I saw lightening. The mostly clear sky got dark out of nowhere and gray clouds moved in, pouring water all over us. Practice got cancelled and we went back home. I was driving home frustrated about "wasting my whole evening" when I looked up in the sky and saw a rainbow.  A beautiful rainbow.

I pulled into the little beach area of my neighborhood (have I mentioned this neighborhood is amazing?) and jumped out of the car to take a picture with my phone when I noticed the rainbow was actually two rainbows!

We could actually see the colors of light hitting the water. There wasn't a pot of gold, no, but it felt like a smile from God. It felt like a reminder that He's got everything beautifully, perfectly, completely under His control.

I need to slow down.
I need to believe Him, not just believe IN Him.
I need to be still and know He is God.

And I'm so excited to see what God can show me in those quiet moments.

Two hundred and fifty

Two hundred and fifty.
250.
Two hundred and fifty.

That's the number I saw in my dream last night.

See, it's been in my head for a while. My friend Alli came from Cambodia and talked about the work they are doing there. She mentioned that the boys center, which had a regular attendance of less than 20, sometimes a few more and sometimes less, when we lived there, just after they opened their doors has grown. She said they have over 250 boys who they now know. There are more that come, too.

But that's the picture I see in my mind that just doesn't go away. It makes me smile to think of it. I get chills and butterflies in my stomach when I try to picture it in my mind.

I can hear their little feet running up the stairs in the building where the concrete walls amplify every sound. I can hear their laughter from every room as they play games and play with toys. I can imagine them standing outside the doors waiting for it to open each morning and running in, throwing off their shoes, and grinning at each other as they race for the room and hug the staff.

And last night I dreamed I was there with them.

I saw two hundred fifty faces, two hundred fifty smiles, two hundred fifty little hearts thumping with joy, five hundred little hands, and five hundred little feet. I could see it and smell it and hear it and my heart was full of joy.

I was there in my dream. I was right there with them all, laughing. And I woke up from it at 3am with my heart both heavy and joyful at the same time. I began to pray for these little souls. These little boys who have found a safe place to be little boys. A place to play. A place to grow. A place to be loved. A place to learn of Jesus. Of the God who created them and knows their struggles and knows their joy. Of the Jesus who gave his life for their lives and asked for nothing in return.

Somewhere in the depths of my sleepy mind, I saw this as a promise from the Lord that I will see this soon. I'm not ready to talk about that yet since I'm still processing it myself, but I knew at that moment it was true and it brought me incredible joy. I also found an overwhelming desire to pray for them and the leaders there. And I did at that moment. Sometimes it feels like all I can do for them from here. And then I realize that it is no small thing. The God who is here listening to my prayers is also there holding their hands. He loves them and loves for me to pray to him on their behalf.

So of course he loves it when others pray, too. I need you to join me. Pray to the God who sees.  Pray to the God who hears our thoughts even before we pray them. Pray to the God who died for us. For them.

Let's lift up the staff in Cambodia, the financial supporters around the world, and the children who are receiving just a touch of God's love every time they enter this safe place.

There is power in our prayers. Let's pray now and see what mountains He will move in Cambodia.

My heart is full

As the date that marks 3 years since I returned from Cambodia approaches, I find my heart full to the point of overflowing. My heart is heavy for those in the world who are hurting and joyful for those who've found restoration from dark, horrible places.

What a week I had.

First, I hosted my friend who is the director at Hard Places, Cambodia, where the boys and I would visit each week to play with kids. I can't talk about this without crying and I have to leave in a minute to go to get my kids at school, so I'll save that for later. 

Then it was my birthday, and my boys, who are growing older and wiser and more beautiful every moment, showed much kindness and compassion to me as I had a bit of a rough day. My friends showed up at my door with gifts, one after the other, so I felt a little love throughout my whole day. As I often struggle with the question of why God has me in North Carolina when I say I'm willing to go anywhere, moments like that show me a glimpse of the Father's love for me and remind me of His purpose for me.

Oh. And then we visited the IJM Global Prayer Gathering in Washington, D.C. where we heard stories of injustice all over the world but also stories of rescue, restoration, and redemption. It was such a moving weekend for my little heart that I can't even write about it yet. I wouldn't know where to start, so I'll save that for later, too.

What's on my mind right now, and pretty much every moment of my life lately, is that I want to do more.

I want to use my time more wisely. I want to spend my money more wisely. I want to change the way my kids see the world. I want to celebrate victories against sin and weep with victims. I want to pray fervently and passionately to my God, who I know hears my every word.
I want my eyes to transform into the eyes of Jesus and see others as He sees them.

I want to do more.

And I want others to do more, too.

So, I figure I'll just open up my broken, confused, but joyful heart and share what I learn as I pray Jesus shows me ways to help. Maybe someone will join me. That means I need to get more words on here instead of keeping them all in my brain.

I am working through Bible studies on missions and working with my church to give more to missions, both here in my backyard and around the world. As I learn from this, I feel the Lord telling me to share. To share my weakness, to share my strength, to share my heart.

So here I go.  It's how I'll do more. 

I hope you'll join me.

News Out of Cambodia

I don’t get political.  Like, ever.

To be honest, I read most of my news through links posted on Facebook. 

I hate the news because it’s depressing and there isn't really ever anything I can DO about it.  Plus, my husband is really smart about these things and when I mention my opinion about something, anything, he points out 5,286 other facts and points of view I've never even thought about.  So I would rather just stay silent most of the time.

But I can’t be silent about what is happening in Cambodia. There is very little news here about the news there. It’s not fair that the world doesn't know. 

So, yeah, I don't get political. 

But I do get emotional.  Really emotional.

Let me see if I can explain what is happening in simple terms. If I can understand this, anyone can, right?  And I’m not taking a side because, well, I just really want it all to be fair and just, and I don’t know what that answer is.  I just want to share. 

First of all, we have to go back 40 years to an awful civil war there that, again, my generation didn't read much about in history class. The country took many years to recover from that and is finally free. Since that time, the people have only had 5 chances to vote. This past summer was the 5^th.  With each election, the ruling party (the CPP) has held onto control but lost more and more seats to the opposition party (the CNRP). As they voted in late July, many Cambodians saw results being reported with the CNRP winning more and more seats in Parliament. They were hoping they would get the change they've wanted for decades. See, many see the current ruling power as corrupt and were looking forward to change.

In the days after the election, the ruling party reported that they held onto the control, and it seemed to be against what the voters were claiming. The people called it an unfair election and demanded a recount, saying the ruling party had either stolen or not counted over a million votes.

In the following months, leading up to now, the opposition party has been refused a recount and has been staging “peaceful demonstrations,” but in the past week, these have turned violent as police fired weapons at the peaceful protestors and protestors destroyed barricades set up by police. 

The next few weeks show no sign of resolution, and I honestly don’t know what is right and what is wrong.  

I’m just broken.

See, I left half of my heart in Cambodia.  Anyone who knows me knows that my heart is always there. Even with the recent events, I can’t help thinking I wish I were there. While I admit that I would likely be worried about my safety if we were there, there is currently no danger to the safety of me or my expat friends at this time. 

But the Cambodians...

The little boys and girls we played with each week at the center, they are on my heart.

These “demonstrations” are taking place where many of those kids live and work on the street. When I watch this video, (which is a great 3 minute summary of what’s happening) I can tell exactly where this is happening.

And I can see the faces of those sweet children.

I remember them.
I love them.
I pray for them.

Cambodia is a dark place. I experienced more spiritual warfare there than I even knew existed. God’s angels are there, but they are fighting a very real enemy. An enemy who spreads poverty and prevents education throughout the country. An enemy who convinces families that they must sell one child to feed the others. Or, sometimes, just to buy a new TV. Seriously.  There is darkness there that can’t be described to those who haven’t experienced it.

But, as I posted before, there IS a light in the darkness. The younger generation, especially, is rising up to fight the beliefs of their past and reach to the real God who can heal their land. 

Many of them are praying tonight, all night long, while it’s daytime here in the USA, and I ask you to stand in prayer with them.  Let’s pray for healing, for justice, for restoration for beautiful place.

**** Our God reigns!

May He reign in Cambodia, and may His beloved there know it and turn to Him and change the future of their "Kingdom of Wonder."

(Cambodian friends - please forgive any errors in my post, and feel free to point out any other news or update us on things in the comments section)

My Itty Bitty Missionary

Tomorrow is a big day around here.  Lots of kids are going back to school and many others are just beginning school for the first time.

I have one of those!

I started this blog when our family left the military and committed to a year in missions. I never changed the words “missionary life” at top because when we returned I became convicted that I was still a missionary.  In every season, every place, every situation, God has a plan and his top priority is for me to tell others about his goodness and love.  That makes me – and my kids, and my friends, and you – missionaries every day. 

We try to teach our children that, too.  God first.  Truly.  Not just in theory or when its popular or when its easy, but always.  Even when it’s hard.  Actually, especially when its hard.

These boys are very fortunate in all they have seen and heard in their short lives.  It has given them a deeper understanding of the whole world that our Creator made.  They have seen how little others have and appreciate how much we have.  Of course, all of us want more.  More toys, more books, more vacations, more “stuff.” The difference in our family is, all one of us has to do is remind the others of the things we have seen – the people who have true needs, not silly wants – and we all change our way of thinking again. Sometimes its me who reminds us, or Stephen, or Jack, but lots of times its seven year old Parker.

Parker has such a big heart.  I have no idea what the Lord has planned for this little boy’s future, but he’s got enough kindness and compassion for the whole world.  I mean, he’s a little boy, and he’s human, so sometimes he thinks about himself first, but he’s also very much in tune to the needs of those around him.

And that’s what we hope others see as he starts school for the first time outside our home.  We hope God uses him greatly to spread his love to the whole second grade and well beyond that, too. 

It’s hard to let him go.  It’s hard to think about what his day will be like without me teaching him and watching him and learning with him.  I feel God gently reminding me though, day after day, that Parker belongs first to Him, and He loves him more than I could ever imagine.  He knew him eons before I existed and has been waiting for eternity for Parker to be here on this earth.  He has superhero sized plans for this boy, and if He’s ready for him to be the missionary He calls us all to be, then I’m ready.

I love this kid.  

My itty bitty missionary.

• Please pray for him and everyone he meets to know and follow our incredibly awesome God. Pray for us, as his parents, to help guide him and support him as he does so.

• I'll be praying many other children join him and rise up to change the world as a new generation - a generation who loves Jesus and isn't afraid to show it.  
• I'm praying now that families would make sacrifices that those of the world might first see as crazy, or radical, or strange, but that would later become a living testimony of our God's love for us.  
• I pray YOU will join us in throwing out the American Dream and striving to live the life God desires for us.  It's so much better anyway!  Let's share and support each other as we do so.
• And I'm thanking God for giving us a place to live where we can freely and rightfully do all these things.  

But for now I'm going to go snuggle with my little ones before school starts tomorrow!

Oh, Baby!

Oh, right, I have a blog.

I forgot for a while.  Honestly forgot.

But here’s why I’ve been a little out of it lately:

 Yep, that’s right, (hopefully you figured it out) Baby #3 is on the way!  Stephen and I are really excited, but sweet Parker is the most excited of all. We all went out to eat for my birthday (a while back) at The Cheesecake Factory. They hadn't been there before so they were already excited. Then I pulled out presents for each of them. They opened the bags to find big brother shirts. Parker said, “But wait, why does Jack have one? Oh, right, because of Krypto.” By the way, Krypto is the dog. We smiled and told him, that nope, it wasn’t because of Krypto. He was confused for a few minutes and then broke into a grin and said “Unless... is there a baby in your tummy?!?!?” 

We told them the news and he responded with “I’ve been praying for this since I was five!” (he was six at the time).

So sweet. 

We went on to talk about how they would both make great brothers and asked if they wanted a sister or brother, though we did make it clear that it was up to God, not them, what we would get. 

Jack said he wanted a brother.  Parker said “Well, I want it to be a girl because that’s my lifelong dream, but a boy would be okay too, because three of us could wrestle Daddy faster than two of us can.” He was adorable.  And he's been doing push-ups ever since in hopes of being stronger to hold the baby all the time.

We have since spent time every day talking about names. That always leads to me shouting “Veto!” after every superhero name they mention. Now the name Veto is growing on us all, haha! No, really, Parker insists that he likes Frederika for a girl (oh my goodness, I can’t imagine calling a baby that...) and they all like Nick Fury Schiffman for a boy.  Needless to say, I will likely disappoint two little boys with almost any name we choose unless its a superhero!

But that’s ok. He or She will be adorable and sweet, and totally loved, no matter what name we choose.

After all, look at that sweet baby!  (if you can see anything on this thing...)

And thus, the craziness of life continues! 

Baby Boy or Baby Girl (we are waiting to find out!) will be here in December.

Answered Prayers

I met some new moms today. Well, actually not new moms, but new friends to me, I should say, and we got in to a discussion about how busy life is lately. One of them pointed out that she feels like when people ask her how things are, she says “busy,” but when they ask with what, she can’t really explain. We all excitedly nodded in agreement. Sometimes you just need those moments where another person looks at you and says “I get it!  I understand that crazy thing you are trying to explain!” It was great to know I’m not alone.'

But I do not like it at all.  I don’t want to be caught up in all these busy (usually pointless) tasks. When my friends in Cambodia post news articles about their power being deliberately shut off and rationed for HOURS at a time – like 10-12 hours or more a day some of them – and write things about cities in Cambodia literally running out of water in their reservoirs, I have to stop and think about what is really important in life.  All the things I have that I don’t really have to be “busy” to get.  Like power.  And water.  And internet.  And freedom. 

I’ve been struggling with this since we got back. The “I’m home but this isn't home anymore” feeling that comes and goes at the most unexpected, and often inconvenient times.  Like when my face was wet with in a parking lot because I found some yellow mangoes like in Cambodia. Don’t get me wrong, they were happy tears, but that didn't stop my kids from wondering where my brain had gone!

And then there are things that make me just stop everything busy in life, get on my knees, and pray.
The tears that come with answered prayer are so sweet.

Let me tell you what brought me to my knees this week so you can rejoice with me:

My friend who runs the organization we are walking for tomorrow emailed late Monday night saying that a young girl, 17, who they had been working with for several years, urgently needed prayer. This poor girl left her abusive father at age 12 and found herself working in a brothel.  She’s HIV positive and has been off the medications for 3 years. And she’s pregnant.

The email was to say that she was in labor. A year and a half ago, she was forcibly injected with crystal meth at the park.  And that happened again. And again. The safe house tried to help, as they have been doing for years, and she was clean for two full weeks before she ran away and went on a meth binge and kept taking customers.  Yes, at 36 weeks pregnant.  She showed up that morning, sober but in labor, and a massive plea for prayer went out.

This one got to my heart. 

This girl needed help.
And it couldn't come from anyone but God.

All the things keeping me busy had to stop while I just lifted her and that baby up to the Lord.

The following day, her labor stopped and she ran away from the hospital.  She was being treated horribly there, being HIV positive and a sex worker.  It was 100 degrees outside and she didn't even get an air conditioned room. Or a bar of soap. Or a roll of toilet paper. 

They eventually found her and she went into labor for real this time, when my friend and her coworkers had to fight for a c-section because apparently that reduces the chances of the baby contracting HIV by 50%. They had a lot more obstacles but in the end, my friend found the girl in post op and the baby in the nursery.

Baby was born today, this morning, and the report is he is perfect.  That’s what I heard.  P-E-R-F-E-C-T.

That made me stop in my tracks again and pray. I had tears of joy running down my face and the whole world seemed to stop as I praised God for his goodness and mercy. I felt His presence with me as I rejoiced with Him like he was my very best friend.

The baby still needs lots of prayers as the next steps are decided, but he is alive.  And perfect.

Wow.

What if I prayed that fervently about everything?  What if I stopped being busy all together and just spent time praising God?  You see, He answered my prayer the way I hoped this time.  It isn't always that way.  But it’s His way that is best, even when I can’t see it. What if I started praising Him for just being who He Is? 

Praising God, the creator of the universe, my Savior who died for me, and the Spirit who lives in me.  Praising God for loving me so much that He wants to be a part of my life. 

Not pushed away because I’m busy.  

I want my focus to be on HIM because He truly is alive and working miracles every day. 

And I am grateful.

(And grateful to be raising awareness and money for this organization tomorrow with traffick jam 2013)

Traffick Jam 2013!!!

If you’ve been following our family for almost any time at all, you know that we had a different life last year.  We lived among the broken. We tried to shine our lights in a place filled with much darkness. We listened as people shared their tragic stories. We hurt with them. We cried with them. We longed for a better future for them.

Yet, in the blackness, we saw hope, too. 

 We were able to give human trafficking a face. Dozens of them. As my kids and I visited Hard Places week after week, the statistics became little eyes full of beauty and wonder and little arms that gave the grandest hugs. Children whose lives had been harder than you or I can fathom, but who smiled when they walked in the doors of Hard Places. They weren’t numbers to me anymore, and I still see their faces when I close my eyes. I see them smiling, happy, full of wonder, and hopeful for a better future.

I miss them like crazy.

Jack with some of the boys, all speaking to him in Khmer, hence the confused face

The staff at Hard Places is amazing. They are Christian men and women living in a Buddhist culture, witnessing the evidence of sexual sin at its worst on a daily basis. They love the children who enter their doors at the boys’ center, and now, a girls’ center, too. These are street children who have known no life but manual work and poverty. CHILDREN. At night, most were sold by their parents, a sibling, or a relative, to predators, where they were exploited and then sent back home in the morning. Once Hard Places opened, though, the kids were able to find a safe place to play, to learn some English, to hear God’s Word, and to find true love through the ministry of these dear people. Now, they have over 70 children at the boys’ center alone! The new girls’ center is up and running, and girls are excited to run to the open doors each day. 

Oh, goodness, did I mention I miss those kids?  I crazy miss those sweet kids!

Boys playing at the center 

And since I can’t go back right now, I wanted to find other ways to help. It’s a small nonprofit organization, so they don’t have access to the big fundraising opportunities some larger orgs do, and they don’t waste money on those things either. Instead, each year they host a nation-wide Traffick Jam Walk-a-Thon.  It’s on April 6 and cities all over the USA join together to walk 10 miles for these kids, each walker earning $10 per mile. I am honored to join in this year! I noticed they haven’t ever had a Texas city before, so I tried to follow God's will, step up to the challenge, and host a walk in Houston!

I was planning a huge event. I was thinking we’d fill up Reliant Stadium with thousands of people, shoot a gun to signal start, and everyone would happily walk (or run, but I said happily...) 10 miles before we had a big party at the end with fireworks going off and cheers and a whole array of Texas BBQ trucks to fill up our hungry bellies.  Not to mention the 16 tv crews that would arrive to hear about this great organization and help the kids!

 

But I’m new here. I don’t know anyone here. I had trouble getting a big sponsor due to the shorter notice and already planned events.

Um, maybe next year?  Maybe next year we can have fireworks and BBQ and news coverage?  Maybe?

My imagination ran wild but my heart was in the right place. I wanted to raise as much as I could for these precious children and the organization saving their precious little unfair lives.  

So I’m still going to walk.

I’m going to walk 10 miles, and I’m going to be thinking of those sweet faces and little hands I held so many times for the whole walk. My whole family is going to walk with me, too.

Go Traffick Jam 2013!

Will you walk with us?  

You can sign up at www.traffickjamasia.com for a walk near you, or if you are in Houston, contact me to register and get your fundraising packet!  Each walker raises $10 per mile, plus a $10 registration fee.  Shirts are also available to anyone interested!  Check this other website to order the 2013 shirt in 3 colors.

Better yet, will you give?

We need sponsors for our walk.  They ask that we earn $10 per mile, totaling $100 per walker (for our family of four).  But I’m a dreamer, remember, and I want the fireworks to go off, even if just in my head, so let's raise even more.  Way more!  Will you sponsor us?

YOU CAN GIVE BY:
1) handing me cash in an envelope marked Traffick Jam

2) mailing a check (received by Apr 6) written to I.O.M. (International Outreach Ministries) with Traffick Jam Houston in the memo line. Contact me for the mailing address.

3) Or, go to the site and give here by clicking on “donate” on the right side.

You don’t have to tell me you gave, but it would be fun to total up the “Houston Traffick Jam” totals, so we can celebrate together.

I love everyone who reads this, because it means you care about these children, too. 

They are real.  Not statistics.  They have sweet faces and big hearts.  They need our help. 

And I miss them like crazy.

Photo courtesy of The Hard Places Community Facebook Page

So, thank you. 
Thank you for reading. 
Thank you for walking. 
Thank you for giving. 
Thank you for caring.
Thank you for being Jesus to the least of these.

Our Cross Country Trip

I just noticed that my last post was about all my BFFs and how grateful I am for them.  Well, actually it was about how we are all God’s favorite (which is pretty awesome, right?) but I did mention that I had a best friend in almost every state. 

And this last week I got to see many (but not enough!) of them!

There’s not much better than spending an evening on the couch of a friend after driving all day with two kids.  Chatting with a loved one, late into the evening like no time has passed, makes my night better and my sleep more peaceful.  And, I’m not really sure I like any kind of coffee better than the kind that comes with a BFF to sit next to and drink it.  Whew.  What a week!

Dressed up for bat mitzvah

The family was going up to New Jersey for a few days for my sweet Jewish niece’s bat-mitzvah.  I can’t believe the little girl who carried flowers in my wedding is now a 13 year old, intelligent, loving, beautiful young woman!  I hope she knows how much I love her!

Anyway, we all drove up for that but then the hubby flew home and it was me as solo parent as we drove home.  For 1782 miles.  Fun.

It actually was fun, but I think that’s only because every stop brought us all new friends and a million memories. Some days we drove two hours, others 12. But all in all, we stopped 6 times. It was supposed to be 7 but a wicked snow storm changed our course. Sorry we missed you, Jamie! You definitely do not have any competition for my best friend in Tennessee and I missed you terribly! 

Oh, it was wonderful. Friends are the best medicine for any of life’s twists and turns. Well, Christian friends who remind you of how great God is, that is. He’s the best physician for anything, but I like it when He gives me time with friends to make me whole!

Here are some silly stats from the looooooong road trip with a 4 and 6 year old:

Question heard most:  “Are we almost to Graham and Evan’s house?” (our almost LAST stop and it started on day 1, hour 1!)

Funniest moment:  Getting stuck on the road in traffic next to a really dead skunk and giggling about who was making that smell.  We laughed so hard we cried!

Best idea:  (mine!)  Letting the kids jump on the hotel beds and mess up the covers and fly across one bed to the other.  Hey, they had to get the wiggles out somehow!

Sweetest brotherly moment:  Parker says he wants to be an underwater archaeologist when he grows up and Jack cries, saying “But when you grow up, I want to be with you, and I don’t want to be that!  Can we be what we want together?  I never want to be away from you!”   Oh, so sweet.

Cutest moment:  Dance floor at the bat mitzvah.  They just couldn’t help but dance and dance!  When a new song would come on, they’d run out and start dancing again.

Full-Circle Moment:  I complained that Parker was missing all the scenery and cool stuff because his nose was in a book.  And then I remembered how my Dad used to do that to me. 

Best Game:  We played that game where someone says a sentence or two of a story and then the next person continues it.  It had potential to be a great story, but every time it got to Jack, he would continue his own story, which had nothing to do with the other one, so we had to keep trying to tie it in to the ‘real’ story.  Hilarious.

Best Friend Game:  The boys spent hours one day outside digging in the dirt with their friends while looking through an old National Geographic type book about archaeology.  This along with the 2 year old friend who lives and breathes Indiana Jones made a very exciting group.  And a theme song stuck in my head.

Favorite food/rest stop:  Ikea.  We ran in, they played for half an hour in the play area, while I read my kindle, and then we all ate for less than $5, because it was kids eat free day.  Fantastic!

Favorite overnight stop:  Haha, like I could choose!

It was a refreshing, rejuvenating, relaxing time, but I’m also happy to be home.

To all the girls who gave us a couch or a bed or a floor to sleep on, and to those who we visited with in between, thanks. We miss you. 

Of course you are all wonderful friends, but you are also all great wives, great moms, great cooks, great decorators, great photographers, and well, just great people.  I love you all so much! I love your family like its mine, your kids like they are mine, and even your dogs like they are my dogs.  You hold a special place in my heart forever.  

And of course... you are welcome here anytime!  As is anyone else who wants to visit!

Thank you Jesus, for friends like these!

BFFs and the Bible

Yesterday my kids were playing a game they named “Moving Day.” Each room was a place... Virginia, North Carolina, Cambodia, Texas... and they would pack their “suitcase” (a blanket they wrapped stuff in) and move to each place, visiting their best friends at each destination.

That disturbed me for so many reasons, namely being that they are only 4 and 6 and yet have so many places to move to, but I had to laugh about one part of it.  The best friends.  Stephen actually makes fun of me all the time for referring to my “best friend in Texas” or my “best friend in Cambodia.”   He’s just so literal and points out that the “best” can only be the best.  Just one.  Well, I wholeheartedly disagree, and I think it's perfectly fine to have a best friend from each state we've ever lived in.  In fact, in Texas, I’m starting to break it down to cities.  And because of the military, many of these friends move a lot, too, and now I even have best friends in states I've never lived in, like Arkansas and Washington and California (hi ladies!)

So you can see why I had to laugh at “Moving Day.” Well, it was that or focus on their poor little transient lives!  So I set my attention on the laughter.

God used it to bring to mind the passage I shared about this past weekend at a women’s retreat.  I love the verse that says “For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10)

I shared about that verse because it played a major part in my agreeing to go to Cambodia, and thus truly and irreversibly changed my life forever.  Isn't it beautiful to think about ourselves as God’s absolute best work?  And what artist doesn't choose the masterpiece as their favorite? We had to do nothing to be his favorite?  He just made us that way. 

Back to the kids... one of them asked me once which one was my favorite.  You know how that goes, parents!  You can’t choose a favorite child!  You love them both.  The easy answer would have been to tell them that neither is my favorite.  But instead I said they were BOTH my favorite. 

And while I do feel a need to specify which place each of my favorite friends come from, showing that none of them are truly named best of the "bests," I never have to specify with my kids.  They can both be, at the same moment, in the same place, my favorite.

Because they are both God’s favorite.

I love that.  Our God created every single living thing on this planet.  And he loves all of it. 

But he loves Parker the best. 
And Jack the best. 

And me.

And you.

I talked about us being his masterpiece this past weekend and since I'm done with my "speech," you'd think I'd be finished thinking about it.  But instead, new verses keep popping in my reading about just how much He loves us. 

1 Ths 1:4 “... you are loved by God and chosen.”

“Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.”  Psalm 36:5

And I LOVE this one:

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Rom 8:35-39

Jer. 31:3   “...I have loved you with an everlasting love... “

And, of course:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

He loves us so much.  I want to say I could give up my child for Him, but I’m a selfish human being who probably couldn't   Not my favorite son!  Or my other favorite son!  But He did.  His love is everlasting, and sacrificial, and more powerful than anything in all of creation, and can do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine, and I can’t be separated from it.

I’m chosen.

I’m his masterpiece.

I’m his favorite.

I don’t know what you think about that, but when I remind myself that I’m God’s favorite, it makes me want to give Him more.... of my faith,  of my time, of my love...  more of me.

"This is the day that the Lord hath made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps 118:24)

Because we are all His favorite.

  

Prayers, please!

I just wanted to ask that you pray for our family this weekend.

I have the blessing to share what God has done in my life, and my family's life, and is still doing, this weekend with a group of ladies from First Baptist Church in College Station.

At the same time, Stephen will be sharing about our journey, and a little more about IJM, at St. John's Church of Christ in Burton, TX (at 6:30 pm Sat!).  This congregation was a generous supporter of our time in Cambodia and continues to raise support for IJM and other organizations joined in the fight against human trafficking both here and abroad.

He is also "bringing the message" Sunday there in Burton at both 8am and 10am.

So.... please pray for us.

This is "our" story but it's nothing without God.  Please pray ourselves are emptied and that the Holy Spirit comes in and speaks through us.  Also pray for hearts to be open to hear HIS message.

Thanks for your prayers.  Always.

Christmas Cards!

I can't help but compare pretty much everything about this Christmas, in Texas, to last Christmas, in Phnom Penh.

It's totally different.  Last year, there were only a few Christmas trees to be seen, no holiday music in the stores, no elf on the shelf, and no crazy shoppers standing in long lines.  I missed the "normal" Christmas some of the time, but most of the time I was thankful.

And this year I am missing THAT Christmas.  I, just like everyone else, got caught up in the busy moments, stood in lines at stores, spent hours cleaning for the arrival of guests (Ok, maybe I haven't done that but I need to get started!), and found myself stressing about things that Christmas isn't supposed to be about.

I miss the quiet Christmas.
I miss the birthday celebration of our Lord.

I am trying now to slooooow down.  In fact, every afternoon, I run to the mailbox and then just spend a few minutes sitting and looking at Christmas cards, usually with a cup of hot chocolate or afternoon decaf coffee in my hand.  I didn't get any cards last year.  Well, in December at least.  I had a few friends mail them to Cambodia and I received a couple in the spring, one in May right before we left, and a few that didn't make it at all before we left.

I love the Christmas cards!  I love it every year, but especially this year after not hearing from so many friends last year.

(This is just one of my 4 sections of house dedicated to displaying the cards)

So thank you!  Thank you for sharing your Christmas photos and letters and cards with us.  It truly is appreciated, and probably my favorite part of this Christmas.

And from the Schiffmans:

They were late going out and if you want one and didn't get one, email me your address, because I probably lost it!

To my friends in Cambodia:
Send me your addresses and I will send you one, too!  It will be a neat experiment to see when (or if) you actually receive it!




We are so thankful for friends and family all around the world.

Let's all try to slow down and show others how much we love them.
That'd be a great birthday present for Jesus!

Merry Christmas!

Just being honest

Anyone who has moved a few times knows how hard it is.  It’s a big adventure, but it’s hard work, too.  At first there is the excitement of a new place & a new house.  Then you learn where Target is and it starts to feel like home.  But after the boxes are unpacked and the pictures are hung, the hard work begins.  As an Army wife, I always thought of it as my own mission -  Mission: Find Friends! 

Outside the military, though, it’s quite different.
Coming back from serving God overseas, it’s quite different, too.

See, we naturally gravitate towards others who are like us.  Those who think like us, live like us, understand things like we do. My military friends understand what I mean. As a military family, we always lived in places surrounded by other military families. These were people like us, with families far away and living for just a short time in a new place. We all knew that our time together would be short before the government would send one family or another on to a new place. 

The result of that was deep, real, intimate friendships.  With no time for small talk, we got right into the big stuff.  Friendships grew more important as husbands would deploy.  We helped each other.  We cried together.  We laughed together.  We loved God together.  We’d enlist the help of our husbands for friends living through a deployment who needed help in the lawn, or with home repairs, or just needed help to take the Christmas boxes out of the attic. Our husbands gladly did these things and their husbands returned the favor for us. We all loved each other like family.  Friendships were the “I love your kids as much as I love mine” kind of friendships.  They were friendships that lasted through any amount of time or distance. 

I miss that.

It wasn’t the same in Cambodia.  As soon as we got there, I struggled to meet people.  When I did, it was a while before we trusted each other a fraction of the amount as before.  I was meeting women and moms from other countries, other cultures, all in Cambodia for a wide variety of reasons.  A few friendships developed deeper as I found the expatriate community a little similar to the military community, with all of us so far from home, going through similar circumstances. 

It was in the in-between time – the time from when I got to Cambodia and met no one to the time I began to find true friends I could share my heart with – that was hard.  For a few months I was in a strange in-between world where I felt lonely and uncertain. That was when I clung to God and, looking back, I see that it was an important time for me. Dealing with all the new sights and sounds, and trying to cope with all the darkness around me, I would have turned to friends, but without any, I turned to Him. Looking back, it is very clear that He led me through that time for a reason.

And now I am there again.

We naturally seek others who understand us and I’m not sure there is anyone in all of greater Houston that understands me right now. My heart still longs for Cambodia and its people. My homeschooling journey is continuing. My husband is looking for an Army Reserve unit, which reminds me that we could face another deployment anytime. My kids ask where we will live next because their sweet little hearts aren’t even able to settle here for now.  My whole extended family is nearby for the first time in ten years and my mom is waiting on medical test results we are all anxious to hear. My phone doesn’t ring so much anymore as friends move on to new, exciting things in their lives. My house in North Carolina that I loved is empty and I long to see it one more time before it sells. My heart is hurting.

But I will cling to Him.

Because I know, one day, I will look back at this time and see that He needed to hold me close for a reason.  I know that, all together, no one is just like me.  No one can match every need I have. But if you just take one sentence above at a time, there are many who understand.  I will find others to love me just as I am.

But for now, He does.  And I will cling to Him.

Too Many Boys!

A couple days ago one of our beloved fish died. I entered the boys' playroom to discover this and tried to prepare myself to tell the boys. When I finally worked up the nerve to tell them, I received a precious reminder that I'm just a girl in a house full of boys.

Their response to the dead fish?  "Awesome, he's floating upside down!" And, "Mom, can I pleeeeeease flush him down the toilet?" Sigh.
The next day they asked me if they could go fishing in their aquarium.

Which reminds me of quite a few other comments I've heard:

"Who is stronger, Hulk or the Thing?"
"Who would win in a battle between Namor and Thanos?"
Or Spider-Man and Abomination.
Or Thor and Captain America.
Or...      
It goes on and on.  Daily.  Nightly at the dinner table. And my husband is right there in the mix. I just stare at my food and try to focus on something else.

I serve them oatmeal for breakfast and they giggle and say they are eating hot poop.

In fact, they like to talk about bodily functions so much that I have now instituted a rule that we only talk about bathroom things when we are in the bathroom. So the next time I heard them say something about poop I shouted, "Boys!" and I heard one say to the other "All, right, let's go in the bathroom and talk."  Oops. Mom outsmarted. They play in there often now.

I take them to the park and overhear Jack say to a friend (whom he just met a moment before) "If you let me punch you, I can show you how strong I am."

We visit Bass Pro Shops for fun, just to look around. And it takes forever!

They ask me more questions, like "Which kind of throw up tastes the worst?" and "Do I have to wear clothes today?"

Jack chases lizards around to "pet" them and Parker wants to live in Ancient Egypt so he can use a bucket for a toilet.

When we eat, it's become a regular conversation (besides the super heroes) to discuss what animal we are eating. When I was a kid, that made me sad. It makes these little boys giggle!

They ask my husband constantly if they can smell his armpit.  Seriously.

They also have learned that I have this weird problem with eyes. Eye issues and all things about eyes kind of freak me out. Since learning this they have gone from doing weird things with their eyes and tricking me into looking, to talking about things happening to eyes, to now just simply shouting "eyeball!" randomly throughout the day.

Oh, I'll probably never get used to being the only girl around.  But, they do say things to make up for it sometimes.

Like, my favorite...  "Mom, if you make your hair red, you'll look just like Black Widow!"
Ha!  Yep, just like her. I wish.


Most of the time, I don't know what to do with these boys.
But I don't know what I'd do without them, either.

Houston - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

All right, so we’ve been in our new home for about a month now, and we've survived the lizard fiasco, I’m finally learning my way around Houston.  I figure it’s time for an update!

The Good –

Well, first thing that comes to mind is that everything is really close.  I mean, within a 5-10 minute drive in any direction, I can find a Wal-mart, Target, and HEB.  That’s all three within minutes in any direction!  Pretty amazing.  Did I mention how much I love HEB tortillas?

Also, this suburb has a super cute little downtown area with shops and restaurants and just fun, fancy places to go.  Not that I get to do it much, but knowing it is there in case I do get a date night - or a visitor - or anything is just exciting. 

Oh, yeah, that’s a better-than-good part of it... My babysitters!  My family is close by and are always begging to take the boys.  It’s nice knowing that people who love my kids as much as me are close by.

A few more “good” things come to mind – fast internet, at home and on my phone; a huge backyard to play in; a great neighborhood with parks and pools nearby; so many fantastic churches that we can’t even make up our minds where we belong; and a job for Stephen that doesn't involve much time away from our family.  Its been a while since we had that.

But you know there is The Bad, too –

The traffic is awful and Stephen has to fight a commute each way every day.  Everyone in Houston likes to drive, so there isn't much of a public transit system. What is in place now is mostly buses  and well, that doesn't really save any time on the road, you know?  BUT... we were living with one car since we got back and this commute required us to purchase another so.... I GOT A NEW CAR!  Not so bad, now, huh?  Remember when I sold my van? I was so sad. Well, we went out and bought the new one and it’s even better than the last! 

We don’t have any friends yet, and, as social as I am, that is weighing on me a lot, but we will. I know it.  We will.  AND... I have about oh, 3 dozen family members all within a 1-2 hour drive, so that’s plenty to keep us busy for now. We’d love to meet some other families, though. All the small groups we have been a part of in the past have been really special to us.

Everything is close by. I know I mentioned this as a “good” thing, but it can quickly become a bad thing, so I’m acknowledging that, too. It’s so easy to run out to Chick-fil-A for lunch or just head to Target for some browsing. It could be expensive if I’m not careful!  BUT... at least I have everything I need. I miss the military commissary, but only for their prices. In Cambodia, I had to make do with whatever I could get.  Here, I can follow recipes exactly as written and make crafts just like the ones I pin on pinterest, and well, do anything. It’s not such a bad problem!

The heat is awful.  Houston is hot.  Really hot.  And humid.  Cambodia was hot.  Really hot.  And humid.  Can a girl ever get a break?  Do I ever get a chance to wear my boots that have been packed up since I lived further north?  No positive spin on this for me.... COOL OFF, TEXAS!  I've been hot for like 2 years now!  Even little Jack was puffing air outside a couple weeks ago and when I asked what he was doing, he said "Blowing out the sun so it won't be so hot!" Maybe we need a Rocky Mountains vacation?

OK, The UGLY.

I’d take a picture if I could, but I’m usually too busy screaming and running to even think about a camera.  Its the roaches.  Ew.  They are big.  They fly.  They are everywhere.  EEEEEWWWW!  We had bugs in Cambodia, and we even had great big roaches, but I just can’t handle it here!  I called pest control to see if they could come and spray and the girl kindly said, “You aren’t from around here, are you?” Well, actually I am from close by, and I do remember standing on the toilet screaming (as a teenager) for my Dad to come kill a roach.  It’s just been a while, and I don’t care to do it again.  The sweet pest control lady told me that they can spray, but the roaches will still get inside.  They’ll just die when they get in.  Oh, okay, ew again.  Dead roaches everywhere?  I just don’t know what to do.

But at least there aren’t bugs in my food.  In Cambodia I often found myself just scooping the ants out of my coffee or cereal so I could finish it.  I can live with non-harmful giant monster roaches if I don’t have to eat them.

Ha.  Haha.  It’s the little things...

Leapin' Lizards

Tomorrow I’ve been invited to speak at my Grandma’s church and tell others about my experiences in Cambodia. I’m nervous and excited but most of all, as I was practicing my words today, I felt a longing to be there. I had just texted my friend Erica that I was missing Cambodia when God decided to give me a little glimpse of it. 

I stopped by my sister’s house to pick up some things she had for me. She’s moving to a new place and was giving away her fish tank and some other things to me and some cute little nephews of hers. She said I could take her plants from the backyard, too, and I was super excited. I have a huge back yard at my house now and no plants!  “I would love to have them,” I told her. So while she was at work, I headed over to grab them from her backyard.

There were about 7-8 plants, I think. Plenty of room in the back of my Explorer to fit them all. I was a little nervous about what could be inside them... my sister has a track record of seeing snakes in her backyard... so I shook them and kicked them hard before moving them. 

It wasn’t good enough. 

As I set the last one inside, something green and slithery caught my attention. Now, I hate snakes, so I was happy when I realized that it was, instead, a lizard. A pretty big green one, but still, it had legs. I could handle it. The boys were standing there as I jumped when I first saw the little creature and they giggled. I said I was going to be brave and grab it. It took me a few seconds to gain up enough courage to grab it, and I did, right there on the tail. 

You know what happens to a lizard when you grab its tail, right?  Not only does the creepy thing fall off, but it scares the rest of the lizard into hiding! That little big guy jumped over the backseat and into Jack’s carseat.  At this point, the kids stopped finding it funny and started screaming and crying. As I’m comforting them and trying to swat a lizard with random toys from the back seat,  a sweet neighbor – remember I’m not at my own house, I’m at my sister’s  - came over and asked what in the world was going on. I told him and he goes “Oh, geez, not lizards, those things are creepy!”

He brought over his broom and helped me a little. Then he (conveniently) had to leave once the lizard disappeared deeper into the car, and left me the broom. About that same time I saw another one.  In my car.  Yep.  Great. 

I opened all the doors and started pulling things out. The kids were running up, peeking in the car, and running away screaming. Over and over again. Yeah. I wasn’t sure if it was for fun or from fear, but it certainly didn’t help me any. 

At some point I decided to take the plants out of the car. I mean, all I could think was that if there were lizards then there might be a slithery snake in one of those pots. As I grabbed the second or third one, I saw another lizard on the pot. I knew it was a different one because it was smaller than either of the others and brown instead of green. I figured would stay on the pot while I set it outside. 

Of course it didn’t, though. It, too, jumped inside the car and immediately hid. With two carseats, toys everywhere, and yeah, I admit, some trash on the floor, too, it became impossible to find those lizards. 

And then I saw one, one who still had a tail. He was on the door so I used the broom the neighbor had left and swatted it away. It went flying across the driveway and slammed into the garage door. I became the coolest mom ever at that point.  The boys watched it as it crawled away, unharmed.  (Thankfully for the kids sake!)

Okay. One down, two to go. Or at least I thought. I couldn’t let myself imagine how many there really could be. I found the second one, which was the largest one, aka Mr. Tailless, hiding in between the seats. With some poking and prodding I got that guy to run out of the car on his own. More giggling and screaming from the kids. They thought they were all gone because I hadn’t told them about the baby one I saw last. 

And when I kept looking and couldn’t find that little guy, I outright lied to my kids and told them there were no more. I know, I shouldn’t lie to them, but come on!  I had a 30 minute drive back home and didn’t need them to be freaked out.

Yeah.  The drive.  I was so worried about driving away with that lizard still in there. Without the plants, of course, because there was no way I was keeping those things inside my car after all that. Sorry, sis. The kids were begging me to never put "leaves" in the car again.  

  

And that’s how it was like Cambodia. But it wasn’t. In Cambodia there were geckos and lizards everywhere. They over and beside us as we ate at restaurants, they came into our kitchen and bedrooms, and they likely rode in tuk tuks with us. It was expected, so it wasn’t all that strange. I guess I’ve adapted now, though, because the thought of driving away with that little guy stuck inside my car, my closed up, moving vehicle, driving on a 4 lane freeway, freaked me out.  I almost couldn’t do it.

But I did.  I lied to the kids again as I buckled them in their carseats.  And I drove.  But every little flicker of light made me jumpy because I thought it was a moving reptile... my mind was still imagining a snake being in there, too.  At one point one of the kids threw a toy into the front seat and I jumped.  They thought that was so funny that they did it again a few minutes later. 

We finally made it home, with no sightings of the lizard. Thank you, Jesus. Because if that thing had run across my lap or jumped on my back while I was driving, I’m sure I’d have closed my eyes, let go, and started singing “Jesus, take the wheeeeeel!”

Whew.  What a day.

I don’t miss Cambodia anymore for now.  
And I'm not driving that car again for a while.